The sex talk
by 6flapjacks
Summary: Cornelius and Wilbur have the sex talk and the awkward is abundent! funny oneshot


A/N: aright so I recently watched _meet the Robinsons_ I thought It was really good. But I couldn't help but wonder what they'd be like in an awkward situation, like this. Haha, just messing around, this idea came to me and I thought it was pretty funny. So whatever. This is SO short, but that's ok, enjoy

* * *

**The sex talk**

"hey dad you wanted to talk to me?" Wilbur said walking over to where his dad was working . _Oh Boy, here we go._ Thought Cornelius as he saw his son approach him. It was time. Cornelius had been prepping himself for weeks, and today was the day. Today was the day where he would have a conversation with his son that would make both of them shudder for years to come. _Maybe I could just wait a few more hours_ he thought as he was sitting his 11 year old son down in the garage. _No, it's now or never_. He cleared his throat, just as he had practiced. "Son," he felt a knot forming in his throat. He hadn't known it would be this difficult, he couldn't remember his father being this awkward when he had given the same talk when he was a little older than Wilbur. He cleared his throat again, and started over,

"Son, … I-I know you've been feeling- well- a little differently towards girls." Wilbur's head shot up as he eyed his father curiously, with an expression that seemed to say 'where exactly is this going?'. Cornelius swallowed loudly, " and I'm sure… I'm sure you've been getting certain 'urges'" He waited for his son to respond.

"I guess so," Wilbur mumbled, turning his attention back to his fingers.

" well, I just wanted to let you know. … I just wanted to let you know that this is all completely normal." He again waited for Wilbur's response. But this time only got a quick nod. " you see, when a man and a woman are in love, um, they want to get- well- they want to um, they want to get a little more… intimate" there was an awkward silence as Cornelius waited for his son's reaction

" what does intimate mean?" Wilbur said hoarsely. Cornelius couldn't help but chuckle a little out of pure relief, but stopped abruptly when realizing that this would be even more difficult to explain.

"well I suppose I should start by saying, this is how people make babies." He nodded. He went on to describe, in detail, the concept of sexual intercourse in sections of awkward stuttering. When it was all over, Wilbur looked at him with an expression that seemed to be a mixture of curiosity, disgust, and pure shock. To be honest, Cornelius wasn't expecting this to come as big of a surprise as it came to Wilbur. He had thought that his son would learn the scientific part of it at school, as he had done so many years ago in a mandatory 'what's happening to my body' seminar. But as soon as he had started to describe things, a look of genuine horror spread across his son's face. And when he started to get a little more in depth, Wilbur couldn't help but exclaim " I put WHAT WHERE?". But Cornelius knew the worst was yet to come. It was now time for the 'Question and answer' part.

" and this is supposed to feel good?" Wilbur asked, feeling a bit stupid, concentrating on his thumbs.

" very." Cornelius answered with a quick nod

"if I get a- a, um… a-…a…."

"an erection?"

"yeah. If I get that, what do I do with it?" Cornelius chuckled a little bit.

" I think it'll be better if we discuss that at a later date, in a lesson I call, ' you and your hand'"

" alright then… you said all babies are made that way…" Wilbur now looked up at his dad

" yes?"

"well, was I made that way? I mean did you and mom…" He let his voice trail off. His father looked down, clearly embarrassed.

"yes."

"and you said that sometimes people just do it because…"

"yes?"

"well, do you and mom…" again he let his voice trail off again. As soon as these words escaped his lips, he mentally scolded himself. He shouldn't have asked, he really didn't want to know. He could have lived his life telling himself that he was the only child ever brought by the stork, and that his parents had no sexual interest in each other what so ever. But no. he had to ask. Cornelius brushed his blonde unruly hair back, clearly even more embarrassed than before, his face turning redder than a tomato.

"yes" he hardly whispered. Wilbur could see that he had embarrassed himself and his father long enough. The truth was he had more questions, about how it works, how often does this take place, etc etc. but he feared if he opened his mouth, another stupid question that he really didn't want to know about would roll out

"ok that's all." He said quietly.

"alright. Um good talk son… I'll.. uh, I'll see you later ok?" Wilbur nodded as Cornelius patted him on the back. Then, father and son, sat in awkward silence.

* * *

A/N- What? They don't have sex ed in the future! Hm guess not. Oh Wilbur you and your… questions…. Hahaha. HEY YOU! REVIEW! Oh that rhymed! But seriously… review. If you don't Wilbur will never get to know what Cornelius is talking about and will grow up to be the male equivalent to an old cat lady. Or worse. He's grow up to be like the hat guy (grown up goob). Or even worse, he'll become a mix of both of their, and instead of having cats he'll have little evil hat things. Life will not be good. PROTECT WILLY-WIL! REVIEW NOW! Thanks for reeeaaadddinggg!

-6flapjacks


End file.
